A woman who was in a World Trade Center hotel recalls running for her life and memories of “bearing witness to death.”
To the Editor:
On the 20th anniversary of Sept. 11, my heart is weighed with many emotions. As a survivor of the attacks, I narrowly escaped the Marriott hotel at 3 World Trade Center. I remember the noise of the first plane hitting the north tower and how the hotel shook as the landing gear fell onto its roof. The hotel caught on fire and I had to flee the burning building. In my escape, debris from the second plane flew all around me as I ran for my life.
My memory of Sept. 11 is acute but fragmented. Some of it is captured in my mind with startling clarity, some in sound or smell or bits of interactions with other people. Other pieces have been deposited and locked in my head, refusing to resurface until triggered by another memory.
Not many people are sympathetic to the lifelong trauma of survivors. Survivors are a neglected group. However, we shouldn’t be marginalized because we survived. The worry of being forgotten weighs heavily, however irrational this feeling is. I want to make people remember. I need to remember for myself and put meaning behind what I experienced.
My journey as a survivor consists of a mixture of denial, an aspiration to live life completely, a desire to help others and a deep sadness for the lives lost that day. A few days after Sept. 11, I wrote my account and sent it to my friends, family and colleagues. It was widely circulated. The following year, I wanted to forget and move on. I was afraid to dredge up all those feelings again. But it was hard to forget.
Years later, I still have my mental image of the wonderful view from my hotel looking out at the river. I remember the remarkable pushing of humanity through the plaza between the gleaming twin towers, which looked so tall they seemed to reach the sky.
For people who were not affected by Sept. 11, it’s hard for them to understand the heavy weight of surviving the attacks, when thousands perished.
People say, “You should forget about this and put it behind you.”
I respond with: “Yes, I am moving forward with my life. But how do you explain the feeling of having survived when so many others didn’t? Being a survivor and bearing witness to death and bloodshed is not something you can forget easily.”
As the Sept. 11 anniversary approached and I walked around with a heavy heart, people have asked, “Whom did you lose on Sept. 11?”
My response is “I lost part of myself on Sept. 11.”
Joyce Ng
Boston
The writer is the author of “Hotel 9/11” and the founder of the nonprofit September 11 Survivors of 3WTC.
"later" - Google News
September 11, 2021 at 12:29AM
https://ift.tt/3nndisU
Opinion | 20 Years Later: My Journey as a 9/11 Survivor - The New York Times
"later" - Google News
https://ift.tt/2KR2wq4
Bagikan Berita Ini
0 Response to "Opinion | 20 Years Later: My Journey as a 9/11 Survivor - The New York Times"
Post a Comment